Ever wondered what it would be like to receive a brush-off e-mail from a corporation’s animal mascot? Well, wonder no more. Here’s the “no thanks” e-mail a friend’s son received after he tried out to replace the inappropriate Gilbert Gottfried as the Aflac Duck.

From the desk of The Aflac Duck

Dear Friend,

I want to thank you for taking the time to audition to be my voice. My vocabulary is too limited to find the words to personally tell how much it means to our company to have you participate in this important job search. Most people never give their dreams a chance and I applaud you for giving this job audition such tremendous energy and enthusiasm. Everyone at Aflac is truly amazed and humbled by the outpouring of talented people who want to represent us. The voice search team listened to over 12,500 online and in person auditions and has ultimately narrowed the selection down to 10 finalists.

Be sure to stay in touch on Facebook and Twitter.

Regards,

The Aflac Duck

For me, this e-mail doesn’t work. The duck who wrote this e-mail sounds an awful lot like the corporate communications department trying way too hard to extend the brand.  There’s just no levity, no duck-iness, in lines like “Most people never give their dreams a chance …” and “Be sure to stay in touch …” I would have thought the Aflac Duck would have a less suit-and-tie writing voice, especially after watching the commercial in which he plunges his head into a jar of pickled jalapenos or rescues the damsel tied to the train tracks.

How would you feel if you were an actor or a voice artist who’d sent in an audition tape and hoped to land this job? Would you appreciate receiving this staid-sounding e-mail from “the desk of The Aflac Duck”? Let me know or post a comment here.